SSBB: Give Back My DAMNED Clothes
by Wolfenpilot687
Summary: Master Hand is displeased by the way the smashers are acting. He'll do something about it.  Rewriting of a story I made 4 years ago.


**Chapter One - Master Hand's Wrath**

* * *

><p>It was a lonely, dark room. There were few light sources around. Two candles flickering on both sides of a gigantic wooden door. The floor, also wooden, shined dimly, being slightly varnished.<p>

"Why?" Asked a figure, standing on the darkness. "Why are they taking so long?"

It had a masculine voice, appeared to float around, and it's size was considerable. However, "he" didn't have a defined shape. To be precise, "he" wasn't even human.

"I know I should be there, overwatching...but after so many matches, I have grown tired of the same game." The figure talked to itself. "Am I being serious?" He turned around. "Me? Master of games, creator of trophies, ruler of destinies...getting bored of...the game I have created? Foolish thoughts dance in my mind."

The character glanced at the door once more. "Perhaps...Sudden Death?"

But, as he articulated that thought inside his mentality, the doorknob turned.

"We are back!" Snake announced, sweating heavily. "The fat plumber ended on last place!" He thickly laughed, pointing to the person walking behind him.

"Well-a! Who'd you think was-a going to win?" Mario claimed, taking its trademark cap off and grazing his hair. "You have all those-a fire weapons, and grenades, all that caboodle! Fire and-a fists is what this man works-a with!"

"Hey! Man!" Sonic, the blue hedgehog interrupted. "Makin' fun of my strength? I'll show you who can give a good knocking!" He yelled, while lifting both hands and making them fists. "Of course, no one has better speed than me." Sonic added, proudly.

Marth, who was just behind them, laughed. "Oh, yes? You should run a lap around the world. If you do so, I'll admit you are good, at least." He put a hand over his mouth. "And we would get rid of you for a month, maybe." He mumbled under his breath.

The figure in the shadows, was getting fed up of all the insolence between those, who he had deemed good enough to be the fighters in the tournament he had organized. His frustration had reached its limit.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" The figure roared. "EACH OF YOU HAS UNIQUE ABILITIES! STOP ARGUING!"

The figure in question, was Master Hand. The entity that had created the game these characters were playing. Practically, a disembodied glove with mystical powers.

Everyone in the room hushed. A smaller door, on a side of the room, bursted open, and more characters entered through it. Apparently, the figure's voice reverberated through the whole building and attracted good attention.

"I GIVE YOU MY HOSPITALITY, A GAME TO PLAY, HEALTH CARE, AND YOU FIGHT LIKE ANIMALS? OUTSIDE THAT ARENA?" The hand pointed to the gigantic door. "DID I GIVE YOU THE FREEDOM TO DO THAT?"

Diddy Kong, bored by Master Hand's words, took a banana that he had stored under his cap and peeled it open.

"ABSOLUTELY NO!" The hand fired a laser from his index point, that completely carbonized the fruit. Diddy Kong grieved.

Just behind them, another figure appeared. Almost identical to Master Hand. It was his brother, Crazy Hand. His much more lunatic counterpart.

"Dinner time!" he said, loudly cackling afterwards.

* * *

><p>The dining room was as big as an entire house. There was only a massively long table in the middle, and it was surrounded by chairs of different shapes. A gorgeous crystal chandelier was hanging from the ceiling, which was high enough to rival a church. The walls were scase and in their places, there were vitrals depicting epic battles from the past. At that moment, everyone was sitting on their respective places at the table, with Master Hand and Crazy Hand at both sides.<p>

King Dedede and Kirby were competing on who could gobble more food from the table, annoying the others in the process. To his misfortune, Ike, was in the middle, getting splattered with rests of the edibles.  
>Jigglypuff, who was since long time in love with the other pink puffball, just stared at him in an endearing way. Just ignoring how morbid he looked while stuffing himself with vast quantities of food.<br>Bowser, who was still infuriated with Ganondorf after their unfortunate rendezvous on the Subspace incident, was engineering a cannon under his side of the table while leering at his foe.  
>Getting tired of waiting, Bowser hurriedly finished his contraption and without even thinking it twice, grabbed the plates of people nearby, more namely King Dedede and Zelda and threw their contents into the cannon.<p>

"Say goodbye, you filthy pig." Bowser whispered with his gnarly voice, while aiming and firing.

But just in the moment the projectile was going to hit Ganondorf, it was intercepted by someone.

"Gwar har har!" Wario heavily laughed. "Thanks for that awesome way to fire food into my belly, turtle face!" He added, thumping his belly. On the other side of the table, Bowser angrily kicked the floor below.

Talking about Bowser, Mario who was oblivious of the fight of his nemesis was just eating peacefully, until...

"Squirt!" A voice under Mario yelled.

"Huh?" He looked under the table.

"Squirtle!" The little Squirtle repeated, cheerfully.

"Oh, hey-a...little fella. What are you-?"

"Squirtle!" The Pokémon repeated, this time firing a water blast at Mario's face.

"Hey! What's-a the big idea?" Mario shouted. He turned to the kid sitting at his side. "You! Put a leash on that thing, won't-a you?"

"I-I'm sorry!" The Pokémon Trained apologized, and called his Squirtle back. "No, you don't do that, Squirtle. At least, not here."

"What's that noise?" Snake yelled, not far from there. He had a device between his legs and a screwdriver on his right hand. "Don't you see I'm trying to-" He was saying, while his hand slipped and a screw jumped off from the device. "Uh...bomb...whoops."

Instantly, everyone noticed what just happened and by instinct, hell broke. Everyone jumped from their seats and ran to the corners of the room or out from it. Bowser was apparently terrified enough to grab Mario and hug him to feel more safe. Snake, to get rid of the explosive, threw it in a random direction that ended up being where Master Hand was.

Luckily, Meta Knight appeared in front of him and with a swift movement, grabbed the bomb and threw it into a wall where it exploded.

Behind the wall was Yoshi, sitting on a toilet, apparently reading a newspaper while doing his business.

"Poo..." Yoshi just said, annoyed.

"OKAY! THAT'S IT! I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS! I'VE FINISHED! I'M OUTTA HERE!" Master Hand exclaimed, choleric, attracting everyone's attention. He floated to the principal door where he punched it, breaking it off to pieces. He floated through it mumbling under his breath, if he had any.

"Uh...forgive him!" Crazy Hand blurted out. "He's. On. His. Daaays." He whispered to Samus, before following Master Hand and laughing in a maniacal way.


End file.
